LESSONS FROM NATURE

We have two of these feeders in the garden. And at times, the number of birds in attendance makes it looks like the Gillooly’s intersection in Johannesburg.

During breeding season, it is fascinating to sit and watch how, in particular, the sun birds would guide their offspring to these feeding stations. The parents would drink for a bit, fly to a branch nearby and wait for the little ones to drink before they again fly off. They will repeat the process until such time that the little ones have memorised the location and fly in of their own accord.

And then, at some point, they will actually chase the offspring away, violently even, when they want to drink whilst the parents are drinking.

This is the way of nature. When it is time to wean the offspring, the parents will display violent behaviour when chasing the offspring away to go and fend for themselves.

The question which arose in my mind is this. Why is it that we human parents or most parents anyway, insist on subsidising (mentally and materially) their children indefinitely no matter what? And I am not referring to unemployed or disabled children.

In their Gospel of Peace, written thousands of years ago, the Essene people said that we should take our lessons from nature and not from the written word as the latter are dead.

The Dead Sea scrolls (a fascinating read and study) were also written by the Essene people. They lived a sedentary live near the Dead Sea at a place called Qumran and away from “civilisation”. Cultivating their own food by day and teaching their children the truths of the world by night and by observing nature in all her beauty.

And then there is a school of thought that suggests that, if as parents, we teach our children as and what we are supposed to, that by age 7, children should be able to fend for themselves.

I do not support this though but yes, I do question the notion and motivation of infinite subsidisation of children/young adults/young working adults. I am all for drawing the line sooner rather than later, though. The time for this will be determined by the manner of how a parent teaches his/her children to become independent.

Is it because parents feel guilty about their neglect of duty – or low self-esteem?

What do you think?